To: Anna, From: Luke

• 1 free snuggle talk
• 1 free storei (with little arrows indicating that the "i" and "e" should be reversed) 
• 1 free 2 hour long talk about God
• 10 free hugs
• 1 free fun day together
• 2 free sleepovers

My birthday present from my favorite ten year old little man. He's learned good gift giving from his Daddy-Boy, and months later I still have the letter full of coupons I can redeem at any point.
Which means I am off for a snuggle and story time with my Lukester.

Dear Assholes outside my window at 2:30 am, on a Wednesday Night

I am so sick of being so angry that I want to storm through Hennepin and out the front doors to write all your rude, obscene, drunk asses up, but knowing that I physically can't because that is dangerous. I am a woman and there are 6 of you, and it wouldn't be fair to wake up another guy RA just because I am pissed off. But yes, for your information (and I mean you specifically, tool in the yellow shirt and green hat, friend of the pimply green eyed guy with a dark ponytail who borrowed my clipboard when he was getting signatures to run for Student something or other-yeah, we know how to elect em, Siena) I was the one who called public safety on you, and who watched in disgust as he issued a warning and left-and I did call Public Safety back to clarify that you shouted "Fuck you" to a resident's window at least 5 times in a row. When the Public Safety officer came back awhile later with back up, I felt better. I wasn't the only one who didn't want to take you on alone. But I am still so sick of the fact that losers like you have the power to make me scared.
I am so sick of the fact that when it's 2:30 in the morning, and your screamed obscenities wake me up, that it takes me awhile to come to enough to call Public Safety. I am so sick of the fact that I never once yelled at you from my window to shut up-because if, by some miracle, the girls in the rooms around me haven't been woken up by you, they would be by me. I have a pair of lungs and once, just once, I'd like to let you hear it.
I am so sick of doing the right "active bystander" thing and just calling Public Safety, "delegating" responsibility and muttering the 3 D's. (Distract, delegate, and another I'd remember if it weren't 2:30am).
I am still so angry, with leftover stale, thwarted anger from months ago, that you, or someone like you, shouted at a girl's window "Shaved or not, I want your pussy." And I called public safety to say there were drunk yelling guys outside my dorm, when what I should have said was I just witnessed an incident of sexual harassment.
Because that it what it is.
And I wish I had clarified for Public Safety that you shouting "Fuck you" at repeated intervals while your drunk buddies giggles was also sexual aggressive and harassing language, and that I, and my residents, have a legal right under New York State law to an education environment free from harassing language such as that.
But it's 2:30 in the morning, and I think of these things later, lying here knowing I can't confront this alone.
So this is me, hollering back and praying there are enough sleepy, pissed off people out there that I don't have to confront this alone. Let's start calling it like it is Siena. Enough is enough.

how to stop dating losers: a guide by yours truly

I've been thinking about relationships a lot lately (mostly because all of a sudden multiple of my closest friends are in the heart warming/gag worthy ecstatic first stage of love), and feeling very wise and inspired. Basically I'm a love guru, and my love advice will change your life.
Date the guy you want to set your best friend up with.
BAM. Life changed.
This revelation hit me as my best friend told me: "Remember that guy I always said was the only one good enough for you? Well....we're dating."
I stared at her glowing face, and was like "Brilliant. That's so brilliant. Date the guy you want your best friend to date, and you're set. Best boyfriend ever."
Because really, we often settle for less (read: guys who turn out to be jackasses) in the relationship department, when we think we're going for the good stuff (read: sexy). We want to date the most attractive people we know, and while physical attraction is important for a relationship, choosing who to date with your hormones and never your head just screws you over in the end. We date people for shallow reasons. But when we're choosing for our best friend, we look for more meaningful qualities--kindness, consistency, a great sense of humor. When choosing for ourselves, we're distracted by superficial things (like who our hormones tell us we want to have sex with) but with our friends, we're more objective and smarter. We want the very best for them, and we're distanced enough to recognize what the best really is--the soul and character that makes someone beautiful (and would make them a fabulous boyfriend) over a hot body.
So, if you've ever wondered why you always choose jerks, take my advice. Get that guy out of the friend zone, stop saying "He's the nicest guy ever, he should date (insert name of best friend)" and meet the greatest boyfriend you've ever had.
You're welcome.


 

Personal responsibility

Best and most succinct summary of the relationship (for the record, it's correlation, not causation) between drinking and sexual assault that I've read.

"Alcohol use does not cause sexual violence. Putting alcohol into your system does not
cause you to commit a sexual assault anymore than putting gasoline into your car causes you to
drive to the airport. Gasoline makes it easier to do what you want to do (e.g., drive a car) while
alcohol also makes it easier to do what you want to do (e.g., grope women). If you do not at least
think about doing something when sober, you are not likely to do it when drunk. For example, no
one worries about becoming so intoxicated that he will lose control and stab himself in the eye
with a fork. Why? Because he would never consider doing that when sober."
--"Alcohol use does not cause sexual violence, by By Scott Hampton, Psy.D., Director, Ending The Violence

Everything that you do drunk is what you would do sober, if you had no inhibitions. There's no excuse for assault, ever.

On the perils of stargazing and bucket lists

"I'm not a princess, and I don't need saving. I'm a queen, and I got this shit handled" said the girl stuck on a roof.
Moral of the story? Stargazing and bucket lists have their perils.
But they're oh, so worth it.
 In other words, "Sit on a roof and talk under the sky all night" is one very happy check on my bucket list. To my very smug satisfaction "Get down from said roof without dying, getting caught by public safety, or having to call a boy to catch me" is also checked off the list I didn't think to make.
Granted, "all night" is a bit of an exaggeration. "Until I started to wonder if I'd be able to get down, and started to panic" might be closer to the truth. And the "talk all night" part had to be fulfilled by one very triumphant and giggly phone call to the seesters, because I was struck by the irresistible urge sit on a roof when I was out walking at night. Sitting on a roof was a lifetime dream, you see, and when a lifelong dream calls, you answer. Period.
I want to spend all my life stargazing, and living an adventure, and getting stuck on roofs and figuring my way back down.

Read this link

http://www.ayearwithoutmirrors.com/2012/05/best-positive-body-image-group-activity.html
This is phenomenal. I want to try the activity, but mostly I love what she says about the culture of tearing ourselves down that women tend to have.

courage to love

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” -C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves 


I pray always for the strength to be vulnerable, the courage to love with abandon, knowing full well that my reward may be heartbreak. That is unconditional love, that is the cross, that is Christ who died for those He foreknew would reject Him, would walk away from the love-adoption He offered. That is the naked vulnerable heart of the Creator of the universe placed in my hands. 
Oh give me grace to love like that.